When I was younger, but not so long ago, I had so much going for me. And I think I have lost sight of that goal. I have lost sight of all those options becasue I have settled in life. I have not only settled in relationships but in all of life.
Recently, (and I dont know why) People from my past have come up to me and made statement like "what happened to you?" and "I would have never expected this to be your life". Well I became defensive everytime someone mentioned it because I thought of it as an insult. I have a cookie cutter, household life... Thats what everyone wants right... HAHA NO!
I look at the people who have said things and they were not meaning it to insult me, but yet it was almost like they were disappointed. I am by no means disappointed with my life. I have the most amazing son... Who makes me the happiest mother in the world.. And I live out on so much land that is paid for and a beautiful home. I work hard but my life is so simple. And right there is finally my answer that I have been looking for.. I dont do simple. I have never done simple. A friend commented about contentment in another post of mine. But contentment is happiness with where you are right now in life. And I am content in where I am right now.. But that does not mean I am happy to stay content. I have never been simple. I am a complex creature that loves the simple joys in life. But my life is not challenging me enough. Being a mother challenges me. But that is the only challenge I have. The rest of my life is so stagnant and it is starting to get where I cant even breathe. I am starting to be disappointed in myself for being content and not moving forward. I have been in the same place in my life for 7 years. And thats not living. And I will be DAMNED if I will live another day not living. So today is my change. Today is my move forward. Today is the day I show my son what true happiness and achieving all you want in life really means.