Saturday, May 28, 2011

I lie awake at night and have thoughts on my mind.
Good, bad, dirty, sweet, and all of life.
Why do I trust?
Why do I lean on people?
Why do I mistake for one second that I can be more than what you tell me I am?
Because all that I am to anyone is what they think of me at that moment.
And believe me we all know that can change with the tides.
You're beautiful , your fucking hideous.
You're lovely, go away.
I want you, you are a disease.
I need you, you suffocate me.
You are special, just like all the rest.
You're intelligent, can you get me a cup of tea?
I am who you say I am. Nothing more. Nothing less. But thank God that's not all I am. Now leave me the hell alone.


  1. Maybe we trust because we are built to. A flaw in the bodily system. A glitch in the brain which sometimes can bring so much pain, but it can bring happiness too. Although, it never seems that way when we're blue.
    To our own self be true, but our trusted ones owe us that due too. Perhaps they simply do while they are waiting for a clue from you on who you are.
    I hope you decided to throw away the words that ward the inner you and reveal what is most center: you. Remember, that while some may be keen on intellect and others on perception, no one has a psychic preternatural thought detection, and hopefully that voice that tells them to leave hell enough alone will also tell us what you are inside and what you want to be when you are not alone. And maybe then those who hurt you can atone.
    And maybe we trust because the people all around you touched by your personality want for you to be not alone.

  2. I used to say the same things about tequila. What kind of tea did you want? I am getting up anyway.

  3. Maybe because not a lot of people want to be alone. And maybe because people, whatever they say about it, really want to be loved and be part of a whole.
    And maybe, just maybe, that is not at all bad.♥