Monday, April 25, 2011

Pain is inevitable... Suffering is optional!

So this weekend, i decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I chose to leave and for good reason. And even if I do not find another soul out there to love me, I already have someone who will love me for life. I actually have two people. Me and my son. My dad always raised me to work hard and learn it all because I was not going to depend on anyone else. I was spoiled but my dad knew that when I was older, I would not be able to have a man around all the time. So i learned how to change a tire and oil in a car, I learned all the yard work and how to build and repair a house. I learned and learned and learned. And I forgot it all, because for the past years I have been told I cannot do it. I cannot do anything as good as he can. Problem is, he never did it. So this weekend I got into all of it and fixed things and made things. I turned my house into a home for me and my little man. And I loved every minute of it. And I do not need a man. I never needed him to do anything. But isn't that the best kind of love? Knowing that person does not need you for anything, but they want you for everything. They want you there. To me, that makes people stay around longer. I would rather people want me, than need me. Because when you need someone, you tend to use them. And I never want to feel that way. And for the rest of my life I will know that I am a rare catch. I am special. And even on days I do not believe that, I will look in the mirror and say I am special to me! I no longer want to suffer. I no longer want to sulk. I want to get out and live for me again.

1 comment:

  1. A hopeful post, and it warms my heart to hear that you are finding yourself again. When the people around us tell us what we can do, and what it is right for us to do, they essentially have strapped a mask over the face of our soul. Sometimes when we wear that mask long enough and see that mask in the mirror long enough we forget that it is a mask. We forget that we are actually bubbling right on the other side of the image we see. But you did not completely forget. As you built your home you tore away that mask and let your true self shine through. I look forward to seeing more of your radiance.